Many clients share their journey and their experience with Dr. Rita in hope that you can also find help in overcoming whatever you may be facing. The following is chronicle of the journey of one couple. Please check the dropdown menu above for more true stories and a few analogies that Dr. Rita uses.
When I first went to therapy I doubted that it would help me. I was emotionally in the worst place I had ever been. I had anxiety, depression and I was a cutter. In my life I had been molested, physically and emotionally abused, and to top it all off my boyfriend, the first guy I felt I could trust in my life, had just broken up with me.
He was the reason I went for help. He had caught me in the bathroom cutting myself and he told me he would no longer be with me until I got into therapy. I was so in denial I couldn’t see why he was so angry about what I was doing. I wasn’t suicidal or anything. It was just something I did to feel better. It was almost as if I had to punish myself for all the things I felt I wasn’t good enough for.
The abuse that I been through in my life had scarred me to the point where I no longer was able to function like a normal person. I was terrified to make decisions. I had no friends because I was scared to meet people, and I constantly was putting myself into the victim role. I trained myself to be weak, and shy, and to never speak up for myself. I had convinced myself that this behavior would make people like me. I was so sure that everyone would end up hurting me that I put up a guard to keep everyone out. Even my boyfriend of five years was only just learning about my past abuses. I probably would have never told him except for the fact that he found out that I had been cutting myself.
Finally things got to the point where my boyfriend gave me a choice: Get help, or else he would be gone for good. I had no idea where to go for help, and the idea of it was so scary. My grandmother called the pastor of her church and he was able to recommend a counseling center that would not only help me heal, but also help me grow in relationship with God.
My first few sessions were so frightening. I felt scared, weak, anxious and helpless. I couldn’t be alone, and I felt like everyone was against me. In therapy I could not hide, I had to face myself. It was very difficult. As time went on I started feeling more comfortable. I started to see that I could trust Dr. Rita, and that I could tell her my past and she would never judge me like everyone else. I had always been someone who hid from my pain, but with the help of Dr. Rita I was able to face my issues, and have her there to help me cope without fear. I realized that I not only needed to deal with my past but also with current issues. I had always made myself the victim because then I thought that people would feel like they needed to protect me and love me. I finally realized this only made it tougher to have relationships and why I had only bad relationships in my life. I had a hard time trusting people; I was filled with low self-esteem, and had no close friends.
Once I got used to therapy it was so easy. It even felt good to talk and be able to vent about my past. As time went on I became a stronger person both emotionally and spiritually. I realized that I wasn’t a victim of my past abuses, but a victor! I had survived all those things and managed to get on with my life. Through the course of my therapy I started to learn my triggers that would set of my anxiety. I was able to see that I was doing the most damage to myself by thinking negative thoughts. There was no reason that I should have felt guilty about my past, the things that happened to me were not my choice.
The toughest, but the most rewarding thing to learn was that assertiveness is not the same thing as aggressiveness. I always thought in order to stand up for myself I would have to be mean to others, which is why I never did it. I now realize I can be assertive and be a good person who people respect. As I realized this truth my faith grew more and more.
Dr. Rita helped me to pray and accept Christ. I started to see that I wasn’t alone. Through all the bad things that had happened to me God had been with me. If he hadn’t I doubt I would have had the strength to survive it all. I used to see myself as a broken person who had no hope. I now no longer have angry outbursts. I have more friends, and I’m not scared to ask for what I want. I now have a second chance to enjoy my life and experience things that I choose as opposed to what others choose for me. I am no longer afraid of being along because I know that I always will have God with me. If I don’t feel that I have the strength to handle a situation I know now that I can pray for God to help me.Contact us today