Many clients share their journey and their experience with Dr. Rita in hope that you can also find help in overcoming whatever you may be facing. The following is chronicle of the journey of one couple. Please check the dropdown menu above for more true stories and a few analogies that Dr. Rita uses.
My journey with Dr. Rita started about a year ago thru a recommendation from Pastor M-- at my church. I came to her broken hearted and mistrustful of everyone in my life; together we have dug deep; to find my faith again.
At the age of six my parents divorced because my dad was sexually abusing my brother, sister, and I. That was the year that he abandoned me and I realized that what he called love was horribly wrong. I never received a birthday or Christmas card, or an apology. My innocence of childhood was gone, replaced with guilt and shame.
The next few years were very lonely and chaotic for me, my mom turned to alcohol and a parade of men, most were alcoholics and one even tried to kill her. She wasn’t around much and my older sister tried to step up and fill her shoes by taking care of my brother and I, but she couldn’t handle the responsibility at that age and she became angry and resentful towards us. I always felt growing up that my sister didn’t like me and a year ago she blurted out that it was unfortunate I was born, finally I her attitude towards me was confirmed. I really started to believe that I was on my own, that no one cared. As a teenager I was heavily involved with drugs, alcohol, and promiscuous sex, not a huge surprise considering the environment I had grown up with. I didn’t feel safe at home so I began to run the streets and dropped out of school. My life was out of control; I was angry, hurt, and very damaged. I began my own cycle of broken relationships with men and gave birth to my sons when I was seventeen and twenty-one. I spent my twenties trying to replace the broken family that I had, and even ended up in a motorcycle club for about five years, more dysfunction…but sadly still normal to me. At the age of thirty my life came crashing down around me, my oldest son who was twelve at the time was hit by a car. The doctors took me into a room and told me to pray for the best, but prepare for the worst. My mom kept trying to convince me that it was going to be okay, but I knew in my heart that our lives would never be the same. My world got very dark and I went into shock. I lost track of time, I was consumed with worry and I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t get any answers from the doctors, it was always, “we just don’t know”. Many times I found myself in the flower garden behind the hospital, crying and praying that we would make it through all of this. One day something happened that I will never forget; as I left a man was walking towards me. As we got closer I noticed that he looked and dressed just like Jesus. My hair on my arms stood up and if he had spoken to me I would have passed out. I still question that day and my mind tries to rationalize it by thinking that maybe there was a play going on, but maybe it was a sign that I wasn’t walking thru this life alone. Two miracles happened that year, my son survived and my relationship and my relationship with my mother got better. We finally were able to connect emotionally and I was able to forgive her, unfortunately my relationship with my brother and sister became non-existent and it would be ten long years before I would open that door again.
I spent the next ten years putting my life back together and being a mother to my boys. I now had a child with special needs and I tried to become a “super woman” trying to handle it all on my own. It took a lot out of me and with no support group in place I began to turn back to alcohol and drugs to cope. About this time, another man entered my life and I really did like him, but he had issues of his own. By this time, I was just tired of all my failed attempts at previous relationships. I wouldn’t allow him to get too close to me and it caused him a lot of pain, he dealt with his pain by turning to other women any love or trust we felt for each other was buried under anger and hurt. I felt that I had no choice but to walk away. I didn’t have the tools to fix it, I was scared and hurt and I still hadn’t dealt with my own issues. He asked me to start going to church and I agreed as a last ditch effort. I wasn’t convinced that it would help us, but I wanted to start a healing in my heart not just from another broken relationship, but my whole life. It wasn’t easy to let go of the anger and hurt. The first few times I went to church I just sat there and cried. I started listening to Pastor M-- till the story of Jesus’ life and how he forgave and still loved us even after all he had gone thru and I began to understand why it was important for me to do the same, why I had to let it go so I could open my heart and have joy in my life again. We made an appointment to see Dr. Rita. We have brought God into our lives and by working with Dr. Rita we are learning to communicate better and be supportive of each other’s needs. We go to church every week and I no longer question whether he is committed to me. This is the first man that showed that he would stay thru the good and the bad, he takes care of my boys and me, and I know that he loves us. I am truly blessed. Our relationship isn’t perfect, but we now have the tools to build it into something great and lasting.
I finally opened the door to my brother and sister and even though my brother isn’t healthy enough to be in my life, I pray for a good outcome and love him from afar. My sister and I are working at it, and talking to Dr. Rita has helped me to understand how our childhood has affected her and today I have more compassion and less resentment towards her.
My journey hasn’t been a fairy tale, but it sure has been quite a ride, and I have survived all the bumps in the road. I’m stronger and wiser, and it’s brought me closer to God. My children are my greatest accomplishment and I have learned thru mothering them to be compassionate and proud. I have a loving man in my life that wants to grow old together, he’s not perfect but he is perfect for me. I don’t know what my future holds but I believe that if I continue to keep God in my life and do my work I will continue to be blessed, that is my faith.Contact us today